Sense of direction

50 days to the end of my contract at work. The company will renew my contract. But I don’t know if I want to renew or not.

Another knock on my head by her to remind me that we could just be friends and nothing else. Why do I keep seeing myself banging my head against the wall when I know it impossible for anything more than friends between us?

Friends are drifting further and further away. I can’t seem to find anyone with similar interest as me. Can’t seem to find someone who is willing to sit down and have a nice cup of coffee or cheesecake. All my friends don’t understand why I wanted to buy a iBook even when I already got a Thinkpad 1/2 yr ago. They just don’t understand that iBook is iBook. Its totally different from a notebook. Nobody understand me.

Blogging day in day out. I also don’t know why the heck I bother to blog. What is my purpose? Read the forum everyday. Took part in the discussion. But all we can do is talk. Powerless over many things. What can we achieve via blog and forum? Nothing. Then why am I still doing it?

I seem to lost my sense of direction. What am I doing now? Where should I go from here?

Where is my big dipper? I need you to show me the way. I’m lost. Really lost.


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