The Kum Conspiracy


新年快乐!!! 恭喜发财!!!

Hahaha…. Today is the 1st day of chinese new year. I’m at home waiting for Ang Pow to come. Chinese New Year is full of customs. For example, before chinese new year, we need to do spring cleaning and buy new clothles. It is considered unlucky to wear old clothles on CNY. Then there is the ang pow and the Kum (mandarin oranges).

Have you ever wondered, why do people exchange Kum on CNY? Traditions say that the word “Kum” sound like “gold”. And exchanging Kum is like exchanging gold. BUT, why do I want to exchange gold with someone? I take 2 gold balls, exchange with your 2 gold balls, I end up still having 2 gold balls. Maybe I might get better looking, bigger and heavier gold balls. But what the whole point? I don’t gain anything right?

And have you ever wondered, Why kum? Why not other fruits? Pineapple for instance is called “Ong Lai” which mean something like “Luck come”. Isn’t exchanging luck better than exchanging gold? Or maybe some other stuff. Why must it be kum?

Does anyone likes to eat Kum? Or rather, does anyone buy kum besides during CNY? I don’t think so. I am beginning to think that all these exchanging of kum is just a conspiracy thought up by some kum farmers long time ago. Look, without this tradition, who would still buy their kum? Maybe some people will, but not many. And look at the way people buy the kum during Chinese New Year. Carton by carton. Some people give kum as gift before CNY. Everyone would buys extra kum just incase some of them are spoilt.

These nasty fruits are the fastest decaying fruits I’ve ever seen. They decay within 2 weeks!!! Kum farmers must find a way to sell their kum fast or they will just rot and spoilt in the marketplace. And since these kum are usually harvested around January, why not start a tradition of exchanging kum during chinese new year?

Excellent plan! Now the kum farmers can continue to grow kum and still manage to sell them before they start to rot. And we chinese will be having a headache on how do we settle the kum after chinese new year.

And I tell you, I have alot of kum this year. You see lah, we need some kum as offering to the god. Some for exchanging with relatives and friends. And some extra in case these nasty-decaying-fruits decide to rot before the guest come. Usually, we get 1 carton of kum. But this year, my dad’s trying-to-be-good friend decided to give us 1 more carton of kum. HORROR!

Guys and gals, point to note. Never ever ever give one carton of kum as gift during CNY. NEVER. Most people would had bought their own kum already. Next time, try giving ba kwa or spring roll or something-that-doesn’t-decay-so-fast.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to settle these kum after CNY?

Yeap, all these kum are at my house now. No photoshop. And no, my dad doesn’t sell fruits.
What to do with kum after chinese new year?

BTW: I posted similar question in forum and these horny guys and gals are using the thread to talk about “Cum” instead of “Kum”. You guys very ham sup leh. I got a big issue here and all you all talk is who “Cum” on who.



  1. ermmm… kum is seasonal, thats why you dont see them much during the other times of the year.

    as to what to do with kum after CNy, and what kind of kum, where and how… no comments!

  2. Yeap, I not cantonese. But I know we exchanging kum cause kum sound like gold in cantonese.

    Let say I got a 2 100g gold ball, exchange with your 2 100g gold ball. What do I get? Still 2 100g gold ball. No diff mah. right?


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