Sometimes, I feel that I cared too much for my friends. Esp those closest to me. Until I reach a point where I interfere with their life, choosing what I feel that suits them better and insist that they do it.
I remember once when a friend of my was out with one of her friend. She wasn’t feeling well that day too. They were at Jurong East central when it started to rain heavily. Those who have been to Jurong East Central would know that there is a road between Jurong Entertainment Centre and Jurong East MRT and there is no shelter. The rain that night was heavy. Very heavy. I sms her to check if she has an umbrella. As expected, she don’t have any. The rain doesn’t seem to be those kind that will stop within the next few hours and it is already 10pm plus already.
So I called her and told her that I’m driving over to send her home. But she rejected my offer saying its too troublesome. When I said its not troublesome, she say her friend is also with her. I offered to send her friend home too. But she say her friend feel paiseh blah blah blah. And we had a short arguement over this, with me insisting on going over and she insisting that there is no need to trouble me.
In the end, I drove over and pass them 2 umbrella. Feeling sad that she refuse to let me send her home dispite the fact that is is raining heavily and she is not feeling well.
Looking back, sometimes I ask myself, why do I even bother so much until it affects my mood? I can offer my help, but if someones feel that they don’t need any, then its ok. After all, its their life, not mine. I have no rights to dictate what they should do. Maybe to me, that options is the best. But it doesn’t mean it is the best option in everyone’s point of view. Even if it is the best option, sometimes, there are some other factors in life that make someone choose other options over the best options. I can’t force people to take choose the best options if they refuse.
Sometimes I can’t even be sure that it is really the best options.
I can offer my help. I can give advice. I can be there for someone if they need me. But if they turn down the offer, I should just accept it. And not cross the line and insist they choose what I feel is best for them.
Why am I bringing up something that happened nearly 4 months ago to talk about?
Well, recently, I saw another friend landing herself in some trouble. Or rather, I feel that she might land herself into trouble if she carry on walking down that road. So I talked to her about it and we had a sort of mini argument. I think she is a bit pissed off when I go poke my nose into her personal life. Perhaps I crossed the line, to a stage where it seems like I’m trying to control her. But I’m not. Its just that I care for her.
Thinking about it….. I’m in no position to control what others want to do. As a friend, I can only advice based on my own personal point of views. I do sense trouble come back again. Maybe it is just me being over senstitive as usual. I don’t know.
But all I can do is to just give advice. I can’t control the path they want to choose. I’m in no position to do that….
I just hope she doesn’t get hurt again……