Go home

I should be going home after the KTV session, but I end up walking along the quiet street alone in the middle of the night. Still thinking about the conversation during lunch.

We were talking about gals’ expectations on their boyfriend/husband. I made a remark that the expectations of Singapore gals are getting higher and higher. And to make the situtation worst, gals are doing very well in the society nowadays. Many of them holding high paying jobs. And they want their spouse to do even better than them. And those man who are doing better than them will most likely not be interested in them but in someone younger and more pretty.

That is why so many people remain single and unmarried. The expectation of woman need to be lowered. How many gals out there are willing to marry a guy who earn lesser than them? Not many.

My colleague disagree with my point of view. She said that there are alot of cases where the gal is earning more than the guy, yet they still got together. Or the gal has higher education level than the guy. Not all gals expect their spouse to do better than them. Not all gals expect their spouse to have a car or condo or country club membership.

And she is right…..

And she made me wonder, why did I have this point of view that every Singapore gal have high expectations? My thinking wasn’t like that in the past. But perhaps there are some things that happen recently that changed my thinking. This is not correct.

I used to believe that love doesn’t look at age or education level or salary. It doesn’t bother about the 5Cs or the status. Love is just a feeling between two person.

Used to believe…..

I don’t know if it is possible to change back to my old point of view. Its hard to change back the thinking after being thru all these. And all these while, I’ve been trying to chase the other 4Cs that I haven’t got. Looking out for ways to earn extra income. At one point, I was even thinking of going into shares and doing part time job to earn extra income. I became interested in looking at car along the roads and finding out their prices.

I must be crazy to think that by earning lots of money and having a car would make chasing a gal easier. But I’ve seen a guy who is crude, un-gentlemanly, ugly and immature, yet able to find a pretty wife. Just because he is earn big bucks and drives a car?

I should go home, to where I used to be. Back to the stage where I still believe that love is based on feeling. And not those artificial stuff…..

————————–

I kept an SMS inside my handphone for nearly 2 months already.

She wrote about the reason why we broke up, listing things like no chemistry and different in thinking. I do agree with some of the points bought up although I feel that it is still possible to savage the relationship if we are willing to work together.

But I kept that SMS because of 1 sentence she wrote.

Btw i’ll be more than happy if my hubby can support me!

Every now and then, I will take out that SMS to read back to relive the pain and agony. Its like a knife cutting the same spot whenever the wound starts to heal.

I’m younger than you. I’m only holding a diploma while you are holding a degree. I’ve only started working for 4 years while you already had 7 years working experience. I’m earning must lesser than you currently. My savings is much lesser than you.

BUT DAMN IT! CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M ALREADY WORKING VERY HARD TO TRY TO CATCH UP. CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M TAKING MY PART TIME DEGREE COURSE NOW? CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M TRYING TO SAVE UP? CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M INVESTING MY SAVINGS SO THAT I CAN GET MORE MONEY OUT OF IT? CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M WAITING FOR THAT FUCKING BONUS BEFORE MOVING ON TO ANOTHER JOB WITH BETTER PROSPECT?

WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?????

9 comments

  1. wake up dude. there is just too many things in your head. you have lost your focus altogether. decide what you want in life. you live life for yourself, not others. you dictate your own life, not others.

    stop for a while and look at the things around you. look back at where you come from and you will be able to walk the path which you are comfortable with.

  2. This is the worst time redefine ur perspective towards life cos u are pretty quite weakminded now.

    Further… technically, the gal’s portrayal of point of view doesn’t represent the rest of the community of females. I feel… it’s wrong to conveniently judge the rest as the same.

    Also, getting a car of working extremely hard or just to get more money for what? I think it’s too vague and shallow to think that that’ll attract gals. Not only this kinda mentality makes u less attractive cos u lost your depth and capacity in viewing life, u’ve also degraded the rest of the women community.

    Lastly… I think it’s extremely tiring to live a life that simply satisfies the way and needs of the society… I mean, u’ll need to spare a thought for urself sometimes too. U’ll lose your sense of purpose in doing many things easily.. cos u dun exactly have the key objective and prime point to keep u going. Meaning, ultimately u’ll not be happy.

    My 2 cents. paiseh, i super lor sor. i noe i noe.

    Shan

  3. Well, believe yourself in what you have! I’m sure you deserve someone better. At least someone who will share and love for what you are and not what you have. I’m sure you do not want someone who only love you for what you have rather then who you really are.
    Many of a time, people always point out that girls in Singapore only bother about 5C’s & status. But in my opinion, I bet not everyone is like that. In fact they are good one too!
    Getting yourself upgrade either in education or work wise is good. But I hope it’s not just because the reason of getting a gf or a wife easier!
    I understand that it’s not easy to forget the past. In fact human never forget the past. But they make it as an experience to make life betetr in the future!I believe you get what I mean here. Things will be better for you. No worry~*

    “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step”

  4. When a girl gives you excuses for breaking up, those are excuses only. Do not take what she says too seriously. Those are not the real reasons. The real reason is that her heart has gone to be with someone else.

    Why bother to keep longing for someone whose heart is not with you?

  5. DK, although i didn noe you. But, my 6th sense told me that, you are not that bad. In fact, you are a pretty decent guy to me 🙂

    Dont’ make things hard for yourself. You do deserve someone better and in future, you will be thankful that you found someone that will love you for you, yourself and not those material things.

    Always hv faith and believes that not all girls are the same, there will be 1 that is your soul mate.

    Living to satisfy others is a very difficult things for you to live your life. You wont’ be happy this way, as we should live for ourself and “is it worth it”?

    i noe, i myself hv kept 1 particular sms for nearly 2 yrs now, n my purpose of keeping it was exactly the same. But, since 2 mths ago, i didn read that sms anymore. I guess, this is a good start. He sort of drifted from my memory for a while and it’s kinda a relief feeling for me as pinning was not a good feeling to have for a long run.

    So, if i can.. i noe you can as well :)Take care

    “Live life to the fullest as you can only live once”

  6. ehhh…the answer to yr final question…

    WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?????

    ~ Btw i’ll be more than happy if my hubby can support me! ~

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