In denial

Saw this quote from Grey’s Anatomy recently.

We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can’t recognize the truth right in front of our faces.

In a way, I think that is the state that I was in lately. Only want to believe in things that I want to believe. Denying the truth about the problems and obstacles that we are facing. Even when the truth is right infront of my face, I still choose to decide.

It wasn’t easy to let go. It never will. But I can’t go on denying the truth. I can’t pretend that things will work out eventually when everything just doesn’t seems to be in our favors. After all, we are from two different worlds. There are just too many issues that cannot be solved. We tried to work things out but it just doesn’t work.

Perhaps I should face the truth. It was never meant to be.

It hurts to be making the decision to let go on my birthday. But other than letting go, there just isn’t other way to go. Its not considered breakup because we didn’t become together to begin with. Its just letting go.

Had too many rejections and breakups in my life. But none of them as painful as this. The feelings for each other is still there. Just that we have to force ourselves to keep a distance because of the issues that could never be resolved.

Perhaps we are letting go because we love each other too much that we do not wish the other party to be hurt even further. Perhaps this is better for the both of us.

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