I hate it when my dad keeps things to himself

I really really hate it when Dad keeps things to himself and don’t tell us.

Dad is in hospital.

Apparently, he been having chest pain for the past 1 week but he didn’t tell anyone of us. He had a routine checkup today and he didn’t intend to tell the doctor about the chest pain too. He knew that he will need to go for the operation. He been delaying the operation for few years already.

But the doctor found something amiss when he reads the report from the medical checkup. That is when my dad decides to tell the doctor about his chest pain. The doctor want him to stay in hospital and go for operation the next day but dad was bargaining with the doctor, hoping he would delay the operation till Nov. The doctor simply ignore him, continue to write in his medical records and ask the nurse to arrange a hospital bed for him.

And he didn’t intend to tell us that he is in hospital until I called him on his handphone. We are one family. If you don’t tell us, then who are you going to tell? I understand that he doesn’t want us to worry. But then, as family members, shouldn’t we be present when needed?

Everyone is now asking me why I didn’t know that dad is having chest pain for almost a week. Seriously, I can’t tell unless he says. He look normal everyday at home. So how am I suppose to know something is wrong? Although nobody is blaming me, but it really sucks to know that your dad been having chest pain for a week plus and didn’t tell you.

I hate it when my dad keeps things to himself.


  1. everyone tends to keep some secret deep in his/her heart, so sometimes we also need to take note of any unusual sign in people around us. Of cos we can’t be asking them everyday “are you ok?”, but yeah, it doesn’t harm to ask. Maybe after you have asked enough number of times they will spill the bean and tell the truth.

    Is there a way to make him feel comfortable telling others about his problem?

  2. My dad’s the same. He becomes his own ‘doctor’ when he’s in the clinic. Disputing what the real doc says and comes up with his own ‘diagnosis’ i.e. he’s fine -_-

    Hope your dad gets well soon.

  3. Sigh… guess your dad (like most Asian dads) belong to the traditional Asian father, always putting a strong front.

    Hope your dad gets well soon. You take care too!

  4. Hi all

    Thanks for the concern and well wishes.

    My dad is doing fine. He had a successful operation yesterday afternoon and is discharged from hospital today. 🙂

  5. hope all will be okay for the dad. think he needs you around more now but still refusing to admit that he needs your support and concern.

  6. Thanks everyone.

    Dad is doing fine at home. Doctor ordered him not to drive for 1 month. That is like grounding him cause he always drive when he go out. 😛

  7. Glad to learn that your dad is better now. Maybe he didn’t want you to worry and sometimes I find that there is a bit of denial when it comes to our state of health.

  8. I believe it’s to put in a stent or a bypass? My dad had a sudden onset of chest pain 2 yrs ago, was immed warded, and it’s found that his arteries were blocked. So he did the balloon thingy for the stent and all OK. But must watch his diet and take the necessary medication. Coz he also has high blood pressure and diabetes.

    Hope your dad is watching his diet too and take the required med 🙂

    DK, I know it’s not easy for sons and fathers to show concern to one another, it’s just not in our culture. But don’t ‘hate’ your dad for it. Let this be some kind of message to bring 2 of you closer?

    Day by day, our daddies will grow older and frailer….so, let’s love and treasure them .

  9. Anon: Yes, they using the stent thingy (Although I don’t know what is it) This is not the first time already. He just won’t watch his diet.

    No worries. End of the day, he is still my dad. 🙂

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