Are you in the "in group"?

You might be wondering, why am I asking this question. I was reading about the recent gathering when I saw someone wrote this.

This group was the boisterous group, the eloquent group, the popular group on Yes, there really is such a thing as the “in group”, as in all other communities – I don’t deny that. Well, nothing wrong with that anyway, not everyone is equal, and not everyone has the same interests!

This entry is written by Daphne. In case you don’t know, Daphne is the community manager in company.
Popular group? “in group”? What the heck is going on? When did we have such classification? Why the need to split the whole entire community into “in group”/”out group” and Popular/not popular? I was kind of shocked to see such comments coming from some in the Company. Is this’s official stand? Are we going to split into 2 camps? Or is this just Daphne’s personal comment?
I’m very disappointed with the comments about “in group” and popular group. What will the new members think? What about those who are not so active in Or those who are active in the community but didn’t attend Daphne’s gathering? Are they casted to the “out group” of Are they not considered popular if they don’t attend her gathering?
This whole thing does the community no good at all. It will only break the entire community apart. Think about the rest of the members who saw that comment. How do you think they would feel if they are classified as “out group”?
Over the years, I’ve been telling everyone that there is no such thing as “elite” or “popular” group in I still remember I rebutted fiercely when someone claims that a certain group in are like elites. is a open community for everyone. Not a closed community where the community manager decides who is in the “in group” and who is not.
HELLO! Community Manager is supposed to help strengthen the community. Not tear it apart by splitting the whole place into 2 camps.
Very disappointed with that shallow comment. Sad that this kind of thing happen on’s Birthday.


  1. Wow, seems like the Roman Empire, there is now the Eastern (out group) and Western (in group) Empire.
    The ideal of being a melting pot, being like a cyber-America is good one. The only thing I wanna say is, unfortunately this time round the idea isn’t founded by Americans.

  2. =)
    take it easy, DK.. You can’t deny that there will forever always be cliques, even in a relatively small community like
    But to be honest I’m also sad to see the in-group labelling.. Maybe more like people who often go to outings.. Hahaha.
    And honestly I don’t see ping community growing that much. Compare the outings from a year ago and now. Any difference in the members going? Nooooot really. 😉
    But anyway, chill 😉

  3. Sylv: Actually there is quite a difference in members going, there is definitely more people and quite a few of those who joined ping after the first anniversary are now regular outing members.
    DK: I read the whole of daphne’s post, it seems you been quoting her first para rather out of context. Just my opinion.
    arzhous last blog post..Beer Making 101: Cleaning up

  4. Buny: Are you the chairman? 😛
    Xizor: Yes, it is very unfortunate.
    Sylv: There are always cliques. Nothing wrong with that. But it’s damaging to the entire community when some cliques self declare themselves as the “in group”.
    Arzhou: I don’t think I quote her out of context. The remaining of the paragraph more or less repeats the same idea that they are the “in group” in And I spoke to a couple of pingsters regarding this issue and they all feel offended by that comment.

  5. Zearth: It’s alright to have cliques. There is nothing wrong with that. But declaring a “in group” is as good as killing the community.

  6. It is natural tendency that so called “in folks” will hang together with other “in folks” resulting in a “in group”. I don’t think there is any need in denying it. It is like saying that there is no white horse in SAF. 🙂

  7. To be fair, I think she does qualify it as the more active ppl on twitter and Plurk, and after all Jerrick did start the discussion on Plurk and then later migrated to the ping forum… So it was pretty open actually, just that people didn’t turn up?
    Daryl Tays last blog post..First Day Of Work At MTV (Again!)

  8. weekee: So are you saying we should allow this “in group” to carry on and split the whole community into 2?
    Daryl Tay: What you are referring to is “regulars” and “non regulars”. Which is a correct term to us. But by saying a certain group is the “in group” is just trying to split the whole place into 2 based on her judgement call.
    JF: The problem is, the person who wrote this is not the pantry auntie. She is the community manager of company.

  9. Hi Arzhou,
    Her comment can be easily taken to meant “in group”, “popular group” which usually have negative connotations as she qualified her statement further with “not everyone is equal”. I thought everyone is equal in ping community? If someone is more equal than others, doesn’t this foster or suggest the elitist mindset which we are all trying to avoid in ping community?
    Cliques and groups of different interests I understand. But to separate the community as “in” vs “out” group, that, I feel is something that should not be encouraged.
    Since I don’t join the ping gatherings, I guess I’m “out” then.
    cobaltpaladins last blog post..A Lonely Path

  10. Cobalt Paladin: I guess I’m also out. Can see that they are doing the “I’m in” thingy on twitter. That is just going to tear the community apart further.

  11. i think this is just daphne’s personal thoughts on it on her personal blog. sure, she’s a community manager and that has its perils.. but in one of her latest blog posts, she did state:

    I want to be able to blog freely once more. I don’t want people to read and judge me, and say things like, “Daphne, you shouldn’t be saying things like that because you are … (fill in the blanks)!”
    But I just hope people understand that despite my rather *significant* role in the community of, I am, after all, only human. I am a real person, not just the Daphne Maia you all know, not just the Hello Kitty knows, not just the blogger whose blog has an audience (unfortunately?). I need to be true to myself. What I blog should not have a consequence on the image or stand of, and I and my blog are one entity, separate from the management of
    Here’s to my renewed zest for blogging, and blogging for myself only.

    yup, so i think she hopes that people will view her blog/posts in this way instead. 🙂
    Wendys last blog post..2 bimbos and 1 cake.

  12. dk: my comment is just to say that it is inevitable that such a group exist whether you want to give it a term as “in group” or whatever term.
    as for whether it should be allow or if it will split the community, i do not know since i am not in touch with the users in the community.

  13. Hi Wendy,
    I read her entry that her views are her personal views, not representative of So I’m also only commenting on her views that she is in the “in” group. Based on her entry, since I don’t join ping gatherings, I’m in the “out” group.
    This is also just my personal opinion.
    cobaltpaladins last blog post..A Lonely Path

  14. Cobaltpaladin: Yup, I know 🙂
    I was just referring to DK’s question
    “I was kind of shocked to see such comments coming from some in the Company. Is this’s official stand? Are we going to split into 2 camps? Or is this just Daphne’s personal comment?”
    to help Daphne clarify that her comments are not representative of’s official stand.
    Wendys last blog post..2 bimbos and 1 cake.

  15. Wendy: But she must understand that she is the community manager of What will the new members think when they saw that comment on her blog?
    Weekee: The term “in group” and “popular” will give people the impression that they are forming the elite group.

  16. Hi Wendy,
    I gave your comment some further thoughts. Regardless that she had blogged that all her entries in her blog are her personal views and not representative of, but in reality, due to her position, her comments would impact whether intentionally or not. I may know that it is only her personal view but others may not see it that way.
    In that case, when she blogs about, her views should be expressed with care. Else, it would not be fair to Uzyn and as they suffer the consequences that may result from her comment.
    cobaltpaladins last blog post..A Lonely Path

  17. Sylv: Do come for outings when you are more free la.
    I think this things is really gonna blow out of proportion. Everyone step back take a chill pill alright?
    Cobalt: I understand where you are coming from, but I honestly do not see the intention of those who actively go for gatherings is to “exclude” others. I hope you get what I mean, we just want to meet up.
    DK: I do not think the intention of your “so called in group” is to split the ping community or anything. I believe such discussions was brought up in the past after all we are welcoming to all new comers, if not why do we see new faces at outings, new regulars on the shoutbox etc etc. Sometimes there is only so much the community can do, the onus will be on new ppl coming into ping to get to know everyone. Its like going to a new country or a new company, do you honestly expect someone to handhold you, bring you around, be your new best friend? It is the choice of people if they want to interact and get to know others. For me I am happy to know any and all new pingsters and will try to talk to them.
    Ok that’s my 2cents, I really have no idea how all this came about but lets all chill out and go back to being happy ok? Really, everyone is important to the ping community.
    arzhous last blog post..Beer Making 101: Cleaning up

  18. DK, it was bound to happen. I believe many saw it coming and many didnt want to believe it.
    But dun feel sad lah, the old gang is still around lurking. And we dun need to be “in” or popular. We just go about as usual.
    Young padawan, join the dark side too…. The force is strong within you….
    Dhopes last blog post..Less is More

  19. Hi Arzhou,
    I know that ping gatherings welcome all members. I’m just concern that daphne’s post about “in”, “popular” group may send the wrong message that ping group is not inclusive but exclusive. How do you expect others to interpret her sentence “not everyone is equal” in
    Like Wendy has said in her comment that it is likely to cause misunderstanding.
    I would like to chill too but I’m very concern about If I’m not passionate about, I wouldn’t be bothered nor care about its progress and development.
    cobaltpaladins last blog post..A Lonely Path

  20. When things come to a point, I guess everyone has to play a part; it takes 2 hands to clap.
    Daphne was just saying what she felt and she might have chosen the wrong choice of word. Maybe we should read that blog entry as her own personal stand and not as Ping’s community manager’s stand? Everyone likes having the idea of being in a “in” group, where the group is more “happening” in a certain way. For eg, my class of 16 is split into 2 main cliques and each clique think they are they “in” group, because each of us have our own activities.
    When I saw DK’s comments to CP about “doing the “I’m in” thingy on twitter”, have they considered about the feelings of those who might be sensitive and worried that Ping will split into 2 camps?
    Which is why I say it taks 2 hands to clap. We are all in ONE community, so why make some others unhappy? It is inevitable that they are cliques in a certain way, BUT, we are still ONE community, although some of us are not always free to come out for every single gathering. There’s no hierachy of “in/out” groups, “regulars/non-regulars” or “old/new birds”, we are all community of Ping.
    paceds last blog post..Rant…

  21. Hi Paced,
    It is because I don’t wish to see the community to be categorised as “in” or “out” group that’s why I highlighted daphne’s choice of words. It is because I’m worried about the feelings of all other ping members especially members who have suddenly been termed to be “out”. It doesn’t exactly foster the building of the community and bonding members.
    When I joined community, I have always felt that it is a community of equals. If you like my ping, just pong my entry. Every member has the same rights to pong. All individual pongs are equal.
    I never thought that to join, I need to attend gathering else I’ll be termed as second class member.
    cobaltpaladins last blog post..A Lonely Path

  22. sure enough, going for outing or not is not the issue here. People go because they want to meet friends, chat, chill; people don’t go perhaps because they are not free, they don’t feel like going, or they just don’t like pizza, etc.
    But but but, declaring “this group was THE boisterous group, THE eloquent group, THE popular group on” is another story. It kind of excludes the rest who didn’t attend and make us think, “ah, so attending THAT gathering was the ticket to THE boisterous group, THE eloquent group, THE popular group on”?
    No doubt, cliques are inevitable in any society/community, people click cos of common interest, common ideas, common thoughts. But instead of saying cliques are normal and all, isn’t it more constructive to try to glue people together? Just at least try can, instead of waving it off?
    About personal opinion or not, once you are in that position, personal or not doesn’t matter. Just imagine if EU commisioner or US president publicly say that Chinese products sucks, what will be the consequences?
    And whoever started the in/out declaration thing, please, are you trying to make people choose? Either they are in, or they are out? Either you are with us, or you scram?
    Great way to gel.
    chillycrapss last blog post..bus rides are like one night stand

  23. Arzhou: You should know that I hate it when someone declares anyone as the “elite” or “popular” or “in group”. This is the kind of statement that split the whole community into 2.
    It’s sad that until now, they still don’t see the mess that is happening.

  24. CP: I agree with what you say.
    Which is why my stand is that everyone has to play a part to make this community work.
    But right now, I have this dreaded feeling that Ping might be spltting into 2 camps which is NOT what I wish to see happening. I also do not want to see people leaving the community because of this. I love this community to death and would want to protect it and its integrity at all cost.
    Trying to cut down one big teak tree down for its wood in a forest may result to felling a dozen others as the canopy is heavily interlocked, before you know it, the forest is gone…
    paceds last blog post..Rant…

  25. whether u r being classified as the IN or OUT grp reallie very important meh..if u feel u r not so IN in the community, den be more active lor! she also never say those that r not at the outing is not popular, not eloquent not wadever wadever..
    she probably jus gave a generalised classification of the grp who happened to be there..
    so relax lei..reallie no need to think so much wan lah…

  26. Uray: It’s not impt whether one is in or out. What I think we meant so far is that, with such “classification”, it might tear the entire Ping community into 2 camps. And there are pple who prefer to stay behind the screens, can’t force them out for the gatherings. 😉
    Based on how long I know Daphne and how I know her character, it’s true that Daphne might not mean what some others think and I don’t think she really meant it like how some see it… But when we are talking about being equal in Ping, and she as a community manager, whether it’s her personal stand or not, somehow, pple will link to it as her position in Ping.
    Hope everyone will step out from their own positions and see the entire situation on both sides…
    DK, sorry for “defacing” yr comment box once again…
    paceds last blog post..Rant…

  27. This is a fake entry. DK is backscratching Daphne. They’re learning well from xialan and dawnwayang. DK is a notorious backscratcher. He had several deals with people across to ping each other. You can find the evidence somewhere when someone exposed him as he overhead when he was asking someone for it.
    DK : You are the real laughing stock of this community. You must win the Hall of Shame 2008.

  28. @R-pootpoot – I’m not sure if you are referring to the post I made but I’ll go out on a limb and guess it is. I already apologized for that post because I made a mistake. DK was just playing a joke on that day.
    Ian Timothys last blog post..The Girl Effect

  29. HELLO! Community Manager is supposed to help strengthen the community. Not tear it apart by splitting the whole place into 2 camps.
    Agree. But on the other hand, community members are responsible themselves to actively participate in the community events to “help strengthen the community”. A simple, persistent lurking of the shoutbox is no longer sufficient. I mean, do post one’s comment now & then there. And if possible (subject to one’s available time) try to join the event outing/activity–on personal note, I have not.
    a_xs last blog "Bandwidth Exceeded" is artificial?

  30. Personal opinion or not, she is the Community Manager and should be careful about what words to use.
    Her disclaimer post telling you upfront that her views doesn’t represent that of’s doesn’t make it better. A Community Manager should not have such personal views in the first place – or he/she is being hypocritical and is not fit for the position.
    Whether or not the quote (for this post) is taken out of context is not the issue – it’s the fact that her words can be easily misinterpreted in the wrong way.

  31. Well she is the community manager. So if this is the direction she’s decided is heading in, then that’s the way the story goes.
    Similarly, if the head of the UN keeps a blog that says that Iran should be nuked in his personal opinion, should alarm bells go off?
    DK – your point is justified.
    There go the alarm bells.
    cowboycalebs last blog post..The First Is The Hardest

  32. Ian Timothy : Regardless of whether was i refering to your article. What is your opinion of a person giving you a slap and telling you it’s a joke? I don’t know about you but there is no way someone is going to be able to justify something is a joke after it happens. Just like if you take a gun to a bank and tell the counter ROBBERY! Then after that you tell the bank and police that it was a joke. Are you expected to be removed of any consequence just because you claim it to be a joke? I don’t think so and I think it would be very difficult to anyone to justify anything to be a joke especially in an act of Kelong.
    I can guarantee you DK and daphne is backscratching each other because although DK is not very clever but he isn’t as silly as to go all out to condemn a particular person on his blog. Being not clever is his style but being so stupid isn’t.

  33. it’s a personal blog and people do not take her post seriously. period. please delete this blog entry once and for all, dk.

  34. Jack Hung: Agree that its her personal post. But I do think there are people who take her post seriously.
    Sorry, but I stand by the things I’ve said on this post. I guess we just have to agree to disagree. Won’t be deleting it. Hope you understand.

  35. jack hung : You also forgot this is DK’s personal blog. What is applicable to Daphne is not applicable to DK meh?

  36. Alvinology: Remember to vote for me for most insightful blog award. Haha. Kidding kidding. Are Omy staff allowed to vote? 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *